wink ;)

it's been entirely too long of a stretch since I last blogged...usually it's an escape from the clutter in my head, a chance to get something out that needs to be spilled...and it's not like I haven't thought about things lately but nothing's really pulled me towards the keyboard...so I'm blogging merely for the sake of blogging and I suppose I'll just write w/e comes to mind..

The 3 beans diagram from Winking Circle has stuck with me, especially the concept of being a fool....I think lots of times I'm afraid to step out and be a fool, minus the occasional blonde moments and it was quite refreshing last night to find myself surrounded by my colourful friends, unashamedly sporting their wigs/crazy eyes/and cruising around on their insanely decorated art bikes...I like the idea of being weird to live in the moment and doing w/e really crosses your mind such as dancing on street corners...after leaving the group Jay attempted a few times to pull me into swing-dancing mode and for all of my desire to just let go, there was something about the city and all its people that made me hold back...a fear to look just a little bit silly maybe...but why? the city is amazingly packed with faces and while it's so easy to fear reactions from them, is it really that likely that you will ever see them after that passing silly moment? prolly not and yet my self-conscious nature would not let my goofiness break out...sigh...it's really not as hard as I'm making it out to be is it? I want to redeem every part of my day....I won't ever have a July 1st, 2006 Saturday again---I can't just let it skim by...so from here on...I will do w/e I feel compelled to....and right now I feel compelled tooooooo............uhh......get offline....and so it begins