fragile but God is sufficient

Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Psalm 138
Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against
the wrath of my enemies,
and your right hand delivers me.
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me,
your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.

I want so so much to believe that right now...I feel so fragile, like something broken that keep getting put back together but is easily prone to shattering at the slightest mishap. My head hurts so much right now from all the tears I’ve let slip out. My intention was to stick close to God and lean on Him but I can’t seem to stay happy for long periods of time. It started with the weekend and a whole load of stressful things piling themselves up in my mind and refusing to back down. Monday was by far the worst day I’ve had in awhile. I felt sick, exhausted and separate from myself. I didn’t care about myself in any way..I think my emotions were bordering on depression. And yet God shone through. He gave me friends to pray with and let me know that I am truly not alone in my struggles. I am holding tight to that verse in Ps 138 that says so bodly,
“The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me.” Father, show me this purpose you speak of, I believe it is an on-going purpose to love others as Christ does and to trust God, but I also know that God has specific purposes for me to place in His hands and not try to blindly run with. Father forgive me for my doubts, I love you.