Tuesday, February 28, 2006

tackled by God again

I love how God will tackle me when noone will...
it's true...I had been complaining to a friend about the worship music at my church..it was droning, I felt like I was falling asleep/dying...blah, etc...I know deep down church does NOT rely on the music to meet God...I came to understand that last year through a church full of old people, and sometimes painful music..at first I went searching for the 'young, new, thriving church' with the cool music...but then I found one that blew me away...sure the pastor's wife would stand at the front and sing loudly in a (off-key) high-pitched voice...but the pastor was utterly and completely in love with God and it was through that love practiced in the church that God really challenged me then..so I know church is not about the hip music...but music is such a huge part of my life and to go to church dreading worship time really bothered me.

...but then...it happened....God tackled me big time...like in those rugby matches where a bunch of fellas in too- short shorts grab each other and throw themselves in a huge pile, like sumo wrestlers, like jackie chan...God pretty much tackled me like those things combined..maybe a funny picture but still...here's the thing... I must SURRENDER....God's tricky like that cuz surrending covers everything: trust, failures, regrets, successes, joys, pains, faith, rebellion, anger, hate...yea he pretty much can sideswipe us with that one word: surrender... our pastor spoke on Psalm 28 and it basically sumarizes the gist of all of my songs (so I fully related)...it took on a course of 'I fail>cry to God for help>I surrender>God calls me to do something hard (like forgive enemies)>God blesses me through that>=trust and a rescue by my Savior>God help me to bless other people>God please bless other people.

so it makes sense...and yet we question God so much...so so much...but that passage is basically the story of my life repeating over and over...our pastor focuses on verse 2 that says, '...I lift up my hands toward Your holy sanctuary'....usually in church people hold up their hands right? I feel pretty dumb doing it sometimes...I dunno..there's something uncomfortable about sticking my hands up in front of me while singing...but this verse puts it completely into perspective because by lifting our hands to God , we are implying that we surrender...actually we're proclaiming it..putting our hands up in a sense of release...like when the police yell 'stick your hands up' and you do it out of defeat, out of a sense that you can't do anything for yourself in that postition'....well I am not saying God is a cop, but can't you see! when we put up our hands, it's exclaiming that we are defeated without God...even when things are going swell..God calls us to surrender...it's such a beautiful picture to me....

so God gave me this idea of surrender on sunday and then on monday I went to a worship time at my school and one of the songs was surrender and I felt like God had tackled me all over again...not because I was doing anything wrong but because He refused to leave me with an order and then move on...and He's still doing it...calling me to surrender....and when noone else will, God will tackle me...and I thank Him for that.
'The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him.' Psalm 28: 7
God bless!

2 comments:

the James said...

I like it, reminds me of a lesson I learned back in the fall. Always rely on God, and it's not about me. Something I struggle with, so I appreciate your advice here. Thanks.

Anastasia said...

I'm not exactly a very religious Christian though I have been one since I was a kid.

But yep, I understood exactly what you meant by "feel pretty dumb doing it sometimes...I dunno..there's something uncomfortable about sticking my hands up in front of me while singing." coz I feel the same way too. :)

Anyway, thank you for your advice.

I enjoy reading your entries & thus will always be coming back for more. :)